How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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mark is religion

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops