A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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I like my coffee how I like my women Without a penis

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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