An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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eh

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not?

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Me: Mike Mike: Yeah Me: The more you breath the more pissed off im getting.

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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homosexual

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead black person? There aren't 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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