A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder read? Because he is blind

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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