What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Justin Beiber sings. people don't listen.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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What do you say to a rock? Meow

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops