What did Washington say to California? WC

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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kk

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Where do bees go to the bathroom? In the hive - they're incontinent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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