Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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are u black unlucky

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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(Guys I want to get the most likes so like my joke.) What did the person want. To get the most likes :)

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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What starts with the letter P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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i don't hate you because your fat ...your fat because i hate you

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Why did the Asian Kid pass his test? He studied hard.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Llamaworm

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why did i write this joke? Because i'm a try hard.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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haha

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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I like poop in my butt

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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