Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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