why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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In Pokemon, why are bug types super effective against dark types? Because Ebola affected a lot in Africa.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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What do you call a person without a heart? Not alive.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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