Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Buzi vagy!

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

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Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

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A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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