A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's under the first mate? The second mate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's grey and can't fly? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock knock... ...no answer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This is my favorite antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops