Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down -10

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Chinese man fall down the stairs? He was shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Actual jokes are now obsolete.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops