Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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Q:what happen to amy's baby A:it was eaten by a dingo.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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