What's harder than killing a baby? My penis while doing it. by: Lucky7 LG

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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Q: Why did the little boy who just got over a terrible sore throat fall down the stairs? A: His legs were brutally torn off by wolves.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

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what is the most efficient way to scratch your balls? hire a leprechaun slave.

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Why did so many describe Billy as glued to the t.v.? A terrible case of bullying and superglue resulted in the inability of Billy to remove himself from his own t.v., causing immense feelings of revenge, but his inability to move left these feelings unfulfilled.

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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What did the T-REX say to the Yettie? This is a highly improbable situation, therefore there is no need for an answer.

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a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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