How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ask me if i am a tree. no.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

thumb_up thumb_down -10

roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops