A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

Womens Basketball.

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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