Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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The Mets win the World Series

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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If you live in the 'living' room, what do you do in the others? You die.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Nice legs....What time do they open?

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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