What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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pussy enough said

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why do black people like chicken? It's usually fried.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What did the baby say to the banana? -- "mama!"

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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so a baby seal walks into a club...

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Knock knock, come in.

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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I like turtoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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