Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dog die? He was old

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the 2 car crash in a walmart parking lot? 50 mexicans died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Why must you question a Chicken's motives to Cross the Road?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what has genitial warts? me

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two peanuts were walking down the street. Well actually, they just rolled a bit and then stopped. Peanuts don't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops