Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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Q: How fast does an F-16 fly? A: Pretty Fast

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops