What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Dude man, I'm high...

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A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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