Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What do u call a man pointing a gun at you? A man with an anger issue

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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"Hey have you seen Stevie wonders car. Neither has he.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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Black people.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Hello.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops