What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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When Zeddie LIttle takes an Unflattering picture, millions of Internet people ask him why he looks Wierd in it. He says, "well, I was having a really tough day that day- my grandpa had just died- and I didn't feel like caring about what I looked like." Either way, he essentially fades into the darkness as the new fad takes over.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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knock knock who's there who who who and if u sat something about an owl I'll kick u in the face u fat cike

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

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Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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oooooooooooooo yeah write there thats the spot what i was talking about my car

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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