- Anti Joke

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

-33

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

-33

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

-33

find the o 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duh its up top

-33

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

-33

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-33

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

-33

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

-33

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

-33

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

-33

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

-33

Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

-35

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

-35

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

-35

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

-35

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

-35

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

-35

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

-35

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

-35

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

-35

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

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