What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

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Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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