ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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Hey

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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kathryn atkins

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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Your name is Fired, your Boss comes up to you and says "Your Fired" You say "I know my name." Your boss gets mad and throws you in a chimney

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What's red, white and not blue. A Canadian flag

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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