You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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68

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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