The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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