A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

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women's rights

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

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What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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