wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops