How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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It's The Only Crayon The illustrator had?

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag swagswagswagswagswagswagswagswagswag

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Artificial insemination.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops