There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

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A man cries out to god.. and god doesn't answer.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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Gay rights

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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