Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

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Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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