Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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Why was the Librarian mad at the laughing kids?? they were laughing cause someone shot her.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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A guy walks into a bar. The bar was closed. Tough luck.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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haw are alligators and turtles simaler? They are both reptiles and carnavores and their speaces goes all the way back to the dinosoar ages

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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Three postmodernists walk into a bar. The barman says "What's this, some kind of anti joke?"

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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