What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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A jew enters a mall.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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