A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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i committed murder

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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