How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops