Two men walk into a bar. You would think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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What do you call a bad joke website? anti joke

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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