How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

the game

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

Maybe You'll Find Someone Else To Help You... Maybe Black Mesa... That Was A Joke...Haha...Fat Chance...

Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

What did the man say to the young, blond athletic girl walking by? "Hi."

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

Knock knock who's there I killed your family

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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