What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Women's rights

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Why did the man look up into the sky? carrot cake

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josh sucks polish adams dick

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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