Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Who's There? Betty Betty Who Betty Sue Never heard of ya I'm here from the management. You have a present. I don't care, we don't take kindly to you city folks. But Sir, If you don't take this I will have to ask you to leave. Well what is it. It's your bill. Knock knock Who's there? Cowabunga! Cowabunga Who? Moo Moo alalalalalal woohoo i'm so high

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"Knock knock..." "come in"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guest what in the butt

thumb_up thumb_down -21

hohifooncuiohicvsdhn ioshd

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if your in a wheelchair have no hair because of cancer and are being fed through a tube you should wait a couple of years before ending it. and wrinkles into the equation....... BANG

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i cant STAND cripple jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blind duck walks under a coffee table. Luckily, it was shorter that the table, walked underneath, and continued unharmed. Then it was eaten by a cat it couldn't see.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops