What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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How do you make a plummer sad? Kill his family.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Holocaust. I was too lazy to make it complete, so enjoy the punchline and comment your own question. It will probably be funnier.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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