What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +22

like most people my age. im 27

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy make a horribly unfunny anti joke? He was bored.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops