What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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