Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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