roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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