Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops