How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

what do asians do in asian history month, nothing, it does not exist, hahaha

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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