I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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