Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

jack and jill went up the hill to fetch some water , jill ended up bending over and jack ended up touching a blue waffle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What colour is chocolate? Brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops