Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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why is caleb mears sucha perv? becasuee its calebbbb ahahahahahahah

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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tommy is retared

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Get it? More.

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Ron Paul for President!

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Communism hehe xd

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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A child is in class. He really has to go to the bathroom. The teacher tells him if he can recite the alphabet, he can go to the bathroom. The kid holds his breath and goes A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z. The teacher tells him good job and allows him to go to the bathroom. When the kid got there there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy. when the teacher noticed the boy was gone for a long time, he went to check on him. When the teacher saw the dead naked body of the boy hanging from the ceiling, he shot himself. The teacher had a family of a wife and 3 sons. The principal of the school had to call the Wife and let her know about the tragedy. The principal also thought this would be a good time to tell the wife that her husband has been having a homosexual affair with him. The wife takes her three sons and drives off a bridge. They all die minus one son (age 14) who had to grow up on the street with other homeless men. He became addicted to crack and when he ran out of places to get money from he decided to rob his old home. He broke into the house and didn't know that a new family has moved in, a married couple and their 1 year old baby. He doesn't want to go to jail, so he kills the baby, spreads the blood all over the parents, ties the dad up and makes him watch his wife get raped, then he shoots the parents before putting the gun on himself. A police officer who responded to the scene had a heart condition and the scene of the crime caused him to have a heart attack. But, he got to the hospital in time and lived.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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