- Anti Joke

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

A jew enters a mall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Good afternoon.

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

Okay, after this one then...

Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple