a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Tilt your screen back .

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? the black man

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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