When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +7

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Justin beiber's penis

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

h

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between chili and a urologist? One is hot and spicy and the other analyzes urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You bumder!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops