Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction? Futurama only has one bender.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

So there was this cracker sitting on a bench. A pigeon picked it up and flew off. Probably ate it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a man in Afghanistan? Either a scuicide bomber a soldier or a tep

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops