Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

knock knock? who's there the stubt double vampire that's going to kill you;0

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...